First Impressions (Hero Hearts: Firefighter) Read online

  The crowd died down and the men got on with their work as the song quietly drifted into nothing. In shook my head realizing I’d just witnessed a memory in the making.

  “My sister guilted me into doing it,” I tried explaining, but no one was around to hear my reason for being in the calendar. It was true, though. Camille worked at the print shop and she had told me it was for a good cause. All the proceeds went to the local food bank. Posing for a calendar wasn’t my thing and not something I would ever think to do myself, but she was in a bind and so I reluctantly agreed.

  "Very funny, guys. It was for a good cause." I made one last half-hearted attempt to explain myself.

  "Oh sure, like it's something you do every day." Roger said.

  "Okay, okay. Have your laughs."

  Doug walked past me and grabbed the calendar out of my hand. “I’ve got the perfect place for this.” I followed him into the break room and could only stand helplessly by as I watched him hang it on the refrigerator. If I took it down, I’d look like a bad sport, so I resigned myself to a year of looking at the calendar every day.

  “The captain’s been after all of us to stay fit, so this should help us lose our appetites for a little bit.” Roger laughed and the others joined him.

  I laughed, too. His joke was pretty funny even if it was at my expense. Even after I returned to cleaning my gear, every few minutes I’d hear one of the guys sing under his breath as he passed me “I love, I love, I love my little calendar girl.”

  Champ trotted on over to me and licked my face. I scratched his head right between his ears. “You believe me, don’t you, buddy?”

  My loyal pup responded with a nudge at my hand to keep petting him. This dog knows what he wants and he goes after it with no apologies. I love that about him.

  I loved these guys—my co-workers, friends, brothers. I felt blessed to have a job where I could be around guys like this. I’d missed that kind of camaraderie since getting out of military. I saw things while I was deployed that made me question my belief in God. Not necessarily about whether He exists, but why He would let bad things happen to good people. What I’d discovered was that it all comes down to faith. Deliberately choosing faith in all things. It took faith to understand and trust even when confronted with the worst cross section of humanity.

  Many of my buddies never made it back home. It had been a long road for me to be able to cope with that and accept it. The boys in the firehouse were a big help. I’d never had a brother growing up, but now I had a whole firehouse full of them who had my back, who I could depend on to keep an eye out for me when we entered a burning building together. Not just the camaraderie that came with the job, but the feeling of being a part of something bigger.

  And just like real brothers we didn’t all get along all of the time, but they came through when it counted. Some of them I clicked with more than others and we hung out outside of the fire house, too. It was that support system that kept me away from the dark moments.

  I looked at my watch and noticed it was the end of my shift. I stood up and motioned to Champ. “Come on boy, let’s go home.” He knew what I meant and immediately headed toward my truck. I’d taught him from his puppy days to obey my commands. Champ has a personality all his own, too, which continued to surprise me. He waited for me to get to the truck. I opened the door and he jumped in, his head sticking out the window waiting for the ride home.

  I loved that dog. He was special. He knew it, too, and he flaunted it every chance he got. He knew he had me wrapped around his paw. We were opposites, but we were a good match.

  3

  Sammie

  Finishing off the weekend with a family barbeque at my sister’s place wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time, but I went anyway. With my mother gone, I had to cling to the little family I had left. My sister, Melissa, and I were almost ten years apart, so I had the weird experience of having a sibling but essentially growing up as an only child. By the time I was old enough to want to play with her, she was almost a teenager and not interested in a little sister. She had left home for college while I was still in elementary school.

  We got along just fine, but we’ve never been especially close. Since we lost our mother, though, Melissa had been making more of an effort to connect with me. I didn’t have a big extended family like Annalise did, but I had Melissa and her family. I hoped our relationship would grow, but I still would have preferred to spend the end of my weekend on my own.

  Melissa’s life was like something out of a suburban fantasy. She had a big house with a wide lawn and well-tended flower beds. The patio was complete with a massive barbeque grill and matching wrought iron furniture. And of course there was a monstrous swing set for my nieces and nephew to play on. That was where everybody was when I showed up at five o’clock, carrying a macaroni salad I’d made this afternoon.

  “Hi,” I said when Melissa answered the door, holding my plastic bowl out. “I brought my signature pasta salad.”

  “Ooh, looks delicious,” she said, taking it from me. “Everybody’s out back. Brad’s got the grill fired up and the kids are going wild.”

  “Are they getting excited for summer?” I asked. The weather was getting warmer, and there were only a few weeks left before they’d be out of school for the summer break. At the school where I worked as a librarian, the kids were starting to go crazy. I was glad that I only had each group for an hour or two per week. I was not cut out to be a classroom teacher.

  Melissa rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah. I feel sorry for their teachers. I have Logan and Amelia signed up for day camp, but Isabella’s too young, so I get to pay for year-round preschool.” She sighed. “Never have kids, Sammie, okay? They are far too expensive. I could open my own day camp and get rich with the fees these places charge.”

  “That day is a long way off,” I told her, following her through the house and out the French doors on to the patio. “Definitely no kids for me for a while.”

  Melissa set my dish down on a table and poured us each a tall glass of lemonade. We sat down on the patio chairs while Brad flipped burgers, and watched her kids running through the lawn sprinkler screeching with joy. “No kids for a while, huh?” Melissa asked. “Does that mean there’s nobody in the picture? Dating-wise, I mean?”

  “I’m trying to take a break from that,” I said. “So I’m working on myself instead. I’ve decided I want to learn to sew this summer. And Annalise wants me to sign up for some kind of class with her. Maybe cooking? Photography? Something. I’m tired of sitting around. It seems like there are no decent men left, anyway.”

  The image of the firefighter from the calendar flashed through my mind. Okay, on the surface he seemed like a decent guy, but who really knew? And I didn’t know him so what kind of person he was didn’t matter in the least.

  “That sounds great,” said Melissa. “But in case you change your mind, I met someone the other day who would be perfect for you.”

  I groaned out loud. “Oh, please no matchmaking! I want to, you know, travel, and cook, and sew myself a skirt or something. There’s more to life than finding a guy and starting a family.”

  Where had I heard someone say almost that exact phrase before? Oh, right. Annalise’s words to her parents last night.

  “He seems great,” Melissa insisted. “I met him after church the other week. His name is Dan, he’s from Radcliffe but was visiting his cousin in Pine Ridge. He’s a real estate agent. I’d love to give him your phone number, if it’s okay with you.”

  “Radcliffe is almost an hour away,” I said. “That’s an awfully long way to travel for a date.”

  “He said he’d be back in town a week from now,” said Melissa. “If you wanted to meet him, that is.”

  “I don’t know...”

  “You could just come to church with us next weekend,” Melissa urged. “And if you happen to run in to him during coffee after the sermon, then that’d make it much easier. More natural.”

  I sighed. I’
d been on dates with men who seemed great on paper, but in real life it just didn’t work out. I’d thought about my plan to work on myself over the summer a lot, and dating someone didn’t fit with that. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to go to church with Melissa and her family. “Okay, I’ll go to church with you guys next week. But no promises on giving this Dan my phone number.”

  “Deal,” said Melissa, looking pleased, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this had been her plan all along. “Do you want to call the kids to dinner, then?”

  “Sure.” I walked over to the edge of the grass and waved my arms back and forth. I wasn’t about to get any closer to the sprinkler. “Hey! Who’s hungry?”

  Amelia, the oldest, was the only one who seemed to have heard me. “I am!” she squealed, and sprinted towards her father. Melissa tackled her from behind with a towel, wrapping her up, and they collapsed in a pile of giggles.

  “Crazy kids,” said Brad wryly, sliding a hamburger onto a plate. He handed it to me. “Here, go show this to Logan and Isabella. That should get them to the table.”

  Brad was right. As soon as Logan and Isabella saw the burger, they made a dash for the table too. Melissa and Amelia sat down with us, Brad made sure everyone had food on their plate, and then he sat down with everyone else.

  Isabella reached out to take a bit of her burger, but Melissa reached out and held her hand. “We need to wait, remember, Bella? We need to give thanks.”

  They all joined hands around the table, and I held Logan’s on one side and Amelia’s on the other. They were slippery and wet, which normally would have grossed me out a little, but I didn’t mind this time. It was nice, all of us joining together.

  “Can I say the blessing this time?” asked Logan.

  “Sure,” his father agreed, and Logan bounced a little bit in his seat.

  “God is great and God is good, thank you for all this food! Amen!”

  “Food and good don’t rhyme,” said Amelia, dropping my hand so she could grab her burger.

  “It’s close enough,” said Melissa.

  Amelia rolled her eyes in exasperation. I caught my sister’s eye from across the table and laughed. It was the kind of thing she would have said to me when I was a little kid and she was a teenager. She smiled back, and I realized that maybe my sister knew me better than I thought. Maybe I really did want this sort of life for myself, some day.

  4

  Blake

  I wasn’t on duty that night, so Champ and I settled in for a quiet night together. Most of our nights were quiet nights together, to be honest about it. I wasn’t the kind of guy who wanted to go out and party or anything like that. It wasn’t typical of some of the guys I knew, but I didn’t mind being a little different.

  When my shift was over, I was usually pretty tired and just wanted to relax in my favorite chair and watch the game, it didn’t matter what sport since I liked them all. Sometimes Joe or Patrick or one of the guys from the fire house would invite me over to watch the game, or play some pool, but my social life was pretty quiet. I liked it that way, but from time to time I couldn’t help but think how nice it would be to have someone waiting on me after a long shift.

  I had visions of lounging around on weekend mornings drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, while Champ lolled around on the floor in a patch of sun. These images in my mind always included a woman. I was never alone. Sometimes she had dark hair, sometimes it was blonde. But she always had a sweet smile meant just for me. Oh, one for Champ, too.

  I shook my head slowly. It wasn’t going to happen, not anytime soon. I’d spent two years in Iraq and I’d seen things I couldn’t forget. I really didn’t want to forget my time there, because I was proud to have served. We’d done some good things there.

  But the firefights. The roadside bombs. The damage done at the hand of people who wanted to kill us was hard to get over. Sometimes when I closed my eyes at night I woke up in a cold sweat. Those were the times Champ would lick my face to wake me up from the nightmares I’d been screaming out at. I was never sure what kind of woman would fit into the picture to deal something like that. Sure, my daydreams with the love of my life at my side made sense, but the nightmares made me feel none of that was possible.

  The guys at work understood and they’d handle it with no problem. This was just about the only thing they didn’t give me trouble about. I appreciated that, especially since our shifts were long and we spent a good part of our lives together. What rational woman wanted to be woken from a peaceful sleep by her husband’s screaming? It didn’t happen every night anymore, or even every month, but I could never predict when it would happen.

  Was I even strong enough to allow a woman to see me that vulnerable? With the other firefighters, I didn’t have a choice. We slept in the same room every single shift, which in our case was every three days. Veterans working as firefighters or paramedics in our district was common, so I wasn’t considered defective there. Again, I was thankful. I had no idea how I’d ever share this side of me with a woman. It wasn’t me being macho, it was just a difficulty I’d never expect someone to take on for the rest of her life. Simple as that. My only prayer was that one day I’d be free from the nightmares. Maybe then I could think about a serious relationship.

  I sighed and changed the channel. There was no use in thinking about any sort of what-if. I was who I was, and I had faith that some day God would work this out. Some day I would meet someone who wouldn’t be scared of my struggles. Some day I’d be unafraid to share that part of me.

  I’d tried dating, and not had much luck, but that didn’t mean that I was destined to be alone forever. There was someone out there. And in the meantime, I had Champ to keep me company.

  “We get along just fine, don’t we, buddy?” I asked him, reaching over to scratch his head. His favorite spot, oddly enough, was on the top of his head right between his ears.

  Champ barked and licked my hand, then flopped down next to me with his head in my lap. I kept flipping through the channels with one hand and scratched his head with my other hand. If he could talk, the contented look on his face told me he’d say, “Yeah, that’s the spot.”

  Champ and I were doing okay together, really. Some day, there would be someone to help me spoil my dog, but for now it was just me and him. At least Champ didn’t have any opinions about which show we watched. I switched back to the game and slouched down to get more comfortable.

  5

  Sammie

  The only thing I had left to do was to finish shelving a pile of books the third graders had left behind. I’d had them in for a reading period and now had to clear up all the books they’d pulled out. It was less than an hour before school ended for the day and then my day would be over—if I could finish putting these books away by then. I never let putting books back where they belong wait till the next day if I could help it.

  Being a librarian was a joy for me. Some considered it a boring job, but I loved books and I enjoyed the students most of the time. There were days, though, when the place was utter chaos. Those times were trying, but even that never made me regret my choice to become a librarian. And if I was honest, the job did more than give me an income with the opportunity to work with books.

  I was an introvert, and for every hour I spent with a group of noisy kids, I needed to take some time for myself to recharge. Shelving books by myself was one of my favorite tasks because it was simple to do and I could do it in my sleep. But more than that, I could just be by myself in my own world while I was doing work that needed to be done. There was something about being surrounded by books that just calmed me. I loved everything about them - I loved the way they smelled, the weight of them, the cover art, the way the pages rustled, how worn they got after being enjoyed by generations of readers. I loved being surrounded by all the stories from people who have come before me. Books were timeless treasures to me.

  I picked up an old leather bound book and rubbed my fingers over it. It was one of the rare co
llections we held in our reference section. Students weren't allowed to check these out to take home, but they could look at them while they were here.

  I closed my eyes and smelled the book taking in the deep musky air. Nothing else gave me the kind of peace my books gave me. Okay, so they weren't my books – I didn’t own them – but I was the one entrusted to care for them. One day I hoped to have an entire library in my home filled ceiling to floor with nothing but books. I didn’t discriminate when it came to books. I loved them all. Everything from the old classics to contemporary fiction to reference, historical non-fiction, biographies... I read them all.

  I finished shelving a stack of books about animals. Smiling, I recalled the project the fifth-graders had been working on earlier in the afternoon. They’d been there to find information on the animal of their choice and then write a report on what they found. Books about frogs and zebras and other animals had been scattered on a table next to the window after they’d gone back to their classroom.

  Walking back to the desk, I found a few random books left next to the look up computer. "Well, you guys don't belong here.” Talking to books like there were living things wasn’t anything new. I did it all the time.

  I had picked up the books and was headed over to the section where they belonged when I was interrupted by a piercing buzzer sound echoing down the hall. I knew that sound well. I'd heard it in my whole life in school. I don't think they changed the buzzer sound since my mother was a student at this very school. The handful of students sitting around tables looked up from their books to identify the noise.

  The sound was so loud it felt like my skull was pounding, and I winced wanting to cover my ears. This wasn't helping my headache any. As the only adult in the library at the moment, though, I was responsible for the handful of students in there. I put the books under my arm and clapped my hands. "It's the fire drill. Leave your books and everything else here on the table. Single file line and follow Andrew outside."